Homework Help for Parents

Have you ever thought that homework is the sweet revenge that your child’s teacher has invented to pay you back for having your little monster in their class all day? Is it often the worst part of the afternoon – full of arguing and moaning and pleading with you to do anything else instead?

Often homework becomes a battlefield where everybody loses and not much learning happens?

In an ideal world homework is an event which teaches our children responsibility for their own education; independence in study and such an interesting part of the day that further discovery and curious learners are born.

This should also be a time where we as parents are able to have an indication of our child’s progress, problem areas and achievements – not all children are forthcoming with information about what happens in class, so what can we do?

The first step is to lay down some ground rules with your child (obviously age appropriate) – this needs to be done before the homework starts. Negotiate and decide on things like:
1. When is homework going to be done – straight after getting home or after an hour of free time or after supper?
2. How much help does the child want? Allow them to tell you what they need from you – for example let them do all the homework that they can on their own and then to call you to help with the rest.
3. When do they need to study for tests and exams? Two days before the test or only the day before the test?
4. When do they have to start working on assignments? As soon as they receive the assignment? One week before? Three days before?
5. Let your child decide on the order of what needs to be done. For example reading and spelling before maths and other subjects.

We may think that homework is all about the children but as parents we need to remember a few ground rules too:
1. Listen and be patient.
2. Remember that the average child has one minute of concentration for every year of age, allow them to take breaks when needed.
3. Ask what you can do to help.
4. Don’t change the rules that you decided on.
5. Make sure you provide all of the materials needed before starting the homework – pens and pencils etc.
6. Give your child a drink and a snack before homework starts.
7. Only present one assignment or subject at a time.
8. Praise the child for effort and for correct work.
9. If your child doesn’t understand the work stay calm and don’t lose your temper.
10. Remember that your attitude to homework will shape your child’s attitude to homework.

It is a good idea to work in a system of reward for younger children to encourage them to get into the habit of homework – for example if they do their homework nicely for a week they can have tuck shop money on a Friday.
Hope you have many happy hours of learning together.

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This article has been written by Jean Geerthsen. Jean is currently a facilitator for Evergreen parenting courses; and a trainer for All That’s Kids. She has extensive experience working with children, teenagers and families over the last 17 years as a Youth and Children’s Pastor. She is married to Klaus, and they have 3 sons ages 10; 8 and 5. Jean’s vision is to strengthen the family and bring Children and parents together and empower churches to bring the gospel to children of all ages. You can get hold of Jean at jean@geerthsen.co.za or evergreenparenting.co.za

Toys: Tools of the Trade

CHILDREN LEARN TO PLAY AND PLAY TO LEARN ... IT IS THEIR WORK

This week, I have set myself the daunting task of sorting out my children’s toys. Dolls and trains and missing puzzle pieces. Some that are precious, some that are forgotten. Having spent an hour with the toys, I feel like I have been with them. I’ve certainly been in their world! These toys are building blocks for their brains, the tools of their trade, lessons for the university of life. Because, through play, children learn what the world is about, and they explore ways of coping with it and mastering challenges.

HOW DO CHILDREN LEARN?

Children learn by involving themselves in activities - they need to see, explore, listen and experiment with things. Words are not enough. Yet, as parents, we often say: ‘don’t touch’, ‘careful, you’ll fall’, ‘put that down’, ‘that will break’, ‘sit still’ or ‘do something constructive’. Children do need boundaries for safety, and to learn to be disciplined about homework. But they also need uninterrupted ‘yes time’ in safe areas with a variety of materials to explore.

Imaginative play, or free drawing is a language that children use to act out their fears and worries. Children can use play to deal with the challenges of school, friendships and families. Social play, or playing with others, whether it is an organised game or House House, helps children to learn how to interact with others, negotiate rules and learn to consider another’s needs, feelings and ideas.

WHAT CAN PARENTS DO THIS WEEKEND?

1. Join in with the children - and let them take the lead
2. Leave the children to play on their own
3. Play educational games with them and have fun yourself
4. Turn tidy up into a race or a game eg I spy something beginning with G that needs to go in the toy box. It’s slower, but the job gets done.
5. Read books together
6. Make dressing up clothes
7. Tell Jokes (or buy a holiday joke book, or find a good website with jokes).

Now that this article is nearly complete, I realise that they toys are still in a mess. But perhaps it is not the organisation that matters. Instead, I think I’ll go and see what the kids are up to, and find out if they would like to play!

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This article has been written by Anwen Cunningham-Scholtz. A mother and child psychologist operating in the Durban area.

The Next Generation

Are you the parent of a pre-schooler and wondering who this strange being is that you have been tasked with parenting?

Children in South Africa who have been born post the turn of the Century are now being recognised as the beginning of a new generation. Each generation is marked by clear common characteristics in their life experience at a point in time according to Howe and Strauss, considered the leading specialists in generational theory in the USA each generation is shaped by a “crisis” period.

So what was the crisis period that has shaped this new generation ? There have been 2 major events that have happened firstly, 11 September 2001 and the “Twin Tower” disaster and secondly “The Global recession”. We have the birth of Generation Z or Generation I

So who are these Generation Z’ers you may ask.
The Key characteristics are
• They are the first generation to be born into a digital world, from womb (3d and 4d Scans) to everyday life (TV’s, Computers, cell phones and the Internet)
• They are technologically savvy with a preference for communicating electronically.
• The average age of parents has increased to 33+ at birth with more and more mothers who have decided to build a career and then have children.
• Both Parents work, which means parents are often busy and tired. The Gen X parents of Gen Z are more likely to push for flexibility in their work to be present for their children at school sports etc .
• There is less smacking for discipline and more experimenting with techniques such as time out and reward
• Parents are spending a lot of time and money on reading books and attending courses on parenting.
• Parents often give in to the demands of these children out of guilt or trying to give every possible opportunity.
• Parents are “bubble wrapping” their children ie. Extremely cautious not allowing children to do things which “could be dangerous”. This can result in children who are afraid to try new things or create an opposite reaction of trying everything when the parents are not around.
• Parents engage children in many structured after school activities resulting in children who have very little free time and do not know how to play by themselves.
So what are the implications of this new generation

As parents:
We have a challenge to make sure that our children are brought up in a balanced way. We need to see that our children are taught to respect their world and the people around them while having the freedom to explore and grow. These children are hungry for technology, as parents we need to help them find balance between the real world and the virtual world while preparing them for adulthood. We also have a responsibility to not stifle the creative thinking behind the children that can see the world as we know it today become something from “Sci-fi” movies of our youth

As teachers:
We have inquisitive minds that need to be encouraged and shown how to look for and find answers to questions we may never even have considered. We have a responsibility to help these children learn the skills that will enable them to communicate and become adults that can function in a multi-generational environment.

As pastors:
We need to encourage these young people to engage in the one relationship that is above all others, a relationship with Jesus that cannot be lived in the virtual or real world only. This will happen by harnessing the power of technology and combining it with the power of relationship and mentoring. Social networking to the extreme.

We are looking ahead to an exciting journey into the unknown as we discover a new generation of young people given to us as a gift from God.
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Hayley Walker from All That’s Kids (Pty) Ltd. Hayley is a mom of 2 beautiful children age 3&4, married to Graeme and runs a business that focuses on “Providing a safe environment for children to grow to their full potential”. All That’s Kids runs parenting courses, youth and children’s ministry training courses and has set up a youth and children’s ministry academy with the view of helping children and families to know Jesus. See www.atk.co.za or find us on facebook. Tel 012 661 3300